Rant.

It gets annoying when people know me as "the smart girl" or use "but you're smart" as an answer/retort to me. I should feel complimented? I suppose, but it's all relative. 

It's even more annoying when I tell them that I'm not that smart and they get mad at me.

Am I supposed to lie and be vain?

Oh well :)

Frustration.

Why do people always have to break promises?
I guess I am simply too gullible or trusting for my own good. I constantly get my hopes up, thinking that people will follow through but then feel low beyond low when they don't. I wish I could stop believeing so much. I know that I can not change everyone, but I want to at least be able to change myself. I guess that's another tragic flaw to add to the list. I am also a hopeless romantic- another tragic flaw within itself.
 
Right now is one of those moments where I am low beyond low. It takes a lot to get my guard down, but once you do, I trust you with my whole heart. I'm not sure how many more times this heart can shatter before the pieces won't go back together again. Life is funny like that, I suppose. I guess that is the best way to think about it. This is life and for good or for bad, it isn't going to change. It's a constant cycle of getting hopes up and hopes crashing down. This turmoil is more than I can bear at times, yet I have to push forward.

"Keep moving forward," as Walt Disney says. I guess even within the mind of the most magical imagineer there is a darkness. 

But there is always family :)

And "a great, big, beautiful tomorrow"- Yea, good ol' Walt was spot on with that one too.

Geek.

Geeky pick-up lines are always fun. :)

I think my favorite right now is "Life without you is like a broken pencil..... Pointless." hahaha

Honorable Mention: 

Baby, you've been looking for love in Alderaan places!

Jedi Knights do it with the Force!

Scientists do it periodically on the table. 

Are you related to Yoda? because Yodalicious

You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Urban.

 I am obsessed with abandoned things. ie- Sanatoriums, hospitals, towns, amusement parks, etc.
My friend Jake shares my passion. <3
We always share our findings and he found a really amazing place in California.

I began googling and am just using this to remember a few names for now.

Camp Krome- Avon Park Florida- DoJo Detention Center
Splendid China- Kissimmeee- Abandoned amusement park This

Innocence.

I've been awake for a while now. Got me feeling like a child now.

I want that kind of love.
Innocent love.
True love.
Head over heels, time stops, over-the-moon, no-one-but-you kind of love.
Call me old-fashioned. You may say I'm a dreamer. I'm most surely a hopeless romantic, but this is what I dream of as the realist in me just tries to stay afloat and not die alone. I want the kind of love where we can be serious in one breath and act like 5 year olds in the next.
Love where nothing matters, yet everything matters.
Love with a man to figuratively sweep me off my feet but literally spin me in a circle when he hugs me.
So in it's most simple manner and in it's purest form:
I want you to want me.
I just don't know who you are yet.

Umbrella.

Dance.

"Well I'd take some dance lessons cause the way you express yourself needs a little work."- Gilmore Girls

There are so many people that I wish I had the guts to say this to. Then again, many people could say the same to me. I don't know if I would call myself a hypocrite seeing as how I tend to catch myself before hitting that critical hypocritical point, but I don't follow my own advice (if a distinction such as that can be made). 

Hypocrites are my pet peeves. Even when I flirt with the line, I find myself going back to utter annoyance with the whole idea. 

This seems like a "la la la flowers, puppy dogs, rainbows" type of rant but no matter how cliche it is, I think it's a good rant. And please note that that was not the intended purpose. Just a rant. End tangent. 

OMG LOOK A NONA-PUS!!!!

Interweb.

I've decided that using the words "interwebs" automatically makes you sound like a geek. It's like officially announcing your nerdom to the world!

::ahem::

"I am interwebbing!!"

versus

"I am searching the internet."

In example 2, you may be a business man, a researcher, a common peruser of the internet, a stay-at-home soccer mom, a college professor, insert-mundane-profession-here.

In example 1, however, you are a geek. No if, ands, or buts about it. 

Bam!!! Mind. Blown.

You're welcome.

Classic.

Classes have opened up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yes, I am one of those people that signed into my online classes at 12:01am the day they opened.      

Whine.

Damn this thing is hitting me hard this time....

Still can't really focus enough so here are a few quotes. :)

During chemo, you're more tired than you've ever been.  It's like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you're out.  You don't know how you'll answer the door when your groceries are delivered.  But you also find that you're stronger than you've ever been.  You're clear. ~Melissa Bank

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell.  ~Lewis G. Janes

If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them.  When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope?  We have two options, medically and emotionally:  give up, or fight like hell. 

~Lance Armstrong

Note.

Barney Stinson's Crazy vs Hot Scale FTW

Note to self: Redye hair purple, find a way to not keep knocking this new piercing out because doing so makes it swell, need more Mountain Dew, STILL need to buy more sci-fi books

That is all for now :)

Cap.

Oh yeah! Sarah and I are tight with him.

(Random Old Story that was on a different post but somehow messed up) 

 

Staring out the window of that broken down truck, I tried to focus on the flashes of trees streaming past. Quickly the streaks of green became fewer and far between as the horizon opened up to reveal a unruffled scene. I quickly rolled down the window, my arm muscles rippling as I struggled with the clunky, hand crank. Success. I rested my elbow on the window sill with a sigh, the salty air blowing through my purple-streaked hair. I was home. This was peace. Instinctively my own salt tears began to form, imitating the salt water just outside of my grasp. I reached out my hand and let the wind push against it. I was going back, leaving behind all that I knew. I tried to ignore my mother in the driver’s seat, pretending that the mix of the music and the roaring wind was too loud in my pierced ears. My stomach turned as we ascended the bridge. Not that it mattered much with how I was already feeling. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I was fine without you, that I didn’t want you, that I didn’t need you- the thoughts come flooding back. Thoughts of your crooked smile, the way you throw your head back when laughing at how lame I am, your favorite song on the radio. That’s how it happened this time. Your song came on. Our song. That song you used to chase me around singing. The one I always told you I hated. I have a secret confession: I love that song and I love the twang in your voice as your true country soul came out with those lyrics. Oh how I miss your farmer’s tan and those pretty blue eyes. I refocus my attention on the gulf to my right. The low tide is the same color as your eyes. Sighing again, I reposition myself in the seat. My cell phone rests between my legs. Summoning all of my courage, I decide to go for it. I slide the top open and my fingers dance over the keys. Closing my eyes, I hit send. I slid back in the sun-cracked leather, letting the seat and the belt engulf me as my knees hit the dashboard. This was going to be a long summer.

Guilty.

As much as I hate it, I love Glee. Tonight, however, disappointed me greatly. I usually listen to the songs without watching the show, but I simply cannot handle the songs tonight. I'm not even just talking about the cast singing Rebecca Black's "Friday" but all of them thus far...... Le sigh.


On a similar note: I need to find more Sci-Fi books to read. yesterday I opened our book closet at my house and discovered that the only books we have left in there are my mom's romantic novels, Harry Potter books, and Amusing Ourselves to Death. So instead I opted to read my Analysis of Literature textbook. How. Horrible. I need to go guilty pleasure shopping soon.

Survey.

1.      Can you name or discuss the plots of more than 10 Star Trek episodes?- More of a Star Wars gal…
2.      Do you refer to the various "Treks" as "TOS" or "TNG"?- mhmm
3.      Have you ever argued with someone over which "Trek" is better?- Yea….
4.       Have you ever argued over who was a better commander of the Enterprise?- nope
5.       Have you ever felt the urge to learn the Klingon language?- In high school, haha
6.       Have you ever been to a trek convention?- Negative, ghostrider
7.      Can you count in binary?- Yes, sir
8.       Can you count in hexadecimal?- Yep, annoying
9.       Can you count in Roman numerals?- Obvi
10.   Do you know Schroedinger's Equation?- Yep
11.   Do you know the difference between a scalar and a vector?- Yes
12.   Do you know what a "reverse polish notation" calculator is?- Yea, but I don’t like them
13.   Can you name the first nine elements of the periodic table in order?- Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, why can’t we add neon to finish up the first 2?
14.   Can you translate more than half the chemical symbols into the name of the element?- Probably
15.  Do you know how your car's engine works?-I don’t have a car, but yes
16.   Do you own an encyclopedia?- Of course!
17.   Have you ever read an encyclopedia entry that you weren't researching?- I got made fun of a lot for doing this in elementary school…..
18.   Have you ever wanted to know something for no apparent reason?- mhmm
19.   Have you ever been laughed at for wanting to know something?- see above
20.   Have you ever referred to a ruler as a "straight-edge"?- ….Yes?
21.  Have you ever called something a "print out" or "hard copy"?- yes, but how does this make you a geek?
22.  Have you ever referred to a curve/object as hyperbolic, parabolic, etc.?- mhmm
23.   Do you feel your vocabulary is larger than most people's?- My friends in middle school stopped talking to me for a week because I “used too big of words”, but yet I didn’t think that I did.
24.  Do you know what an oscilloscope does? Yep, tests signal voltages basically
25.   Have you ever used an oscilloscope?- no :/
26.   Do you own any remote controlled vehicles?- Yes!
27.   Have you ever used a rare earth element?- Firesteel ftw!!
28.   Do you own a slinky?- Yesssss
29.   Does a slinky make you think about oscillations?- haha yes
30.   Are your socks unmatched?- Ummm I am known for this!
31.   Do you own a digital watch?- Yep, Buzz Lightyear!
32.  Have you ever quoted a piece of literature from memory?- Quite often
33.   Have you ever eaten pizza cold?- mhmm
34.   Is any leftover delivery food currently residing in your refrigerator?- Yepper
35.  Have you ever thought about extra dimensions/parallel universes?- Yes, sir
36.   Have you come to any conclusions about UFO's/life on other planets?- meh
37.  Prefered lightsaber color?- Blue!!!!
38.   What is the significance of carbonite?- In terms of Star Wars, computer backup, or coal mining haha
39.   What is "Star Wait"?- people waiting 6 weeks before the new Star Wars premiere
40.  Have you ever dressed up for a Star Wars event?- Nope
41.   Have you ever gone opening day to see a Star Wars movie?- I wasn’t allowed to
42.   What was George Lucas' first film?- THX 1138
43.    What's your favorite Star Wars planet? – Kashyyyk !!

Awkward.

This Song has been stuck in my head all night, which just led me to share it with you guys. Right now I'm rather cynical on the subject, however, so I will share a few pictures rather than attempt to write a cheery paragraph. Perhaps one day I will be able to add that cheery paragraph, but this will have to do for now. :)

(Only video I could find with the song that would allow embedding- even though it annoys me to no end.)

OHHHH And can this be my wedding, PLEASE?? kthx

Uno.

After much contemplation,much deliberation, a little push, and a little sugar- I decided to dedicate a blog to my random ramblings, geeky findings, and pure awesomeness.<3 So here it is!! Hopefully it amuses you, or at least helps you waste some time.

"So it goes"

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

- Mark Twain